It was eight years ago so I can’t remember whether it was during the settling down into seats as the 8th graders came back in after recess or whether it was later during a class discussion. Anyway, at some point, Bri started venting her stress to the class. “I have to always look pretty. I have to get good grades so I can go to a good college. Then I have to get a good job. I have to find and marry a good man.”
That made me smile gently as I shook my head, “Bri… Bri, Let me tell you a story.”
“As you all know, back long before Chrysalis, I was a ranger with the National Park Service. The last place I worked was Navajo N.M. which protects some of the best-preserved cliff dwellings. The closest one was at the bottom of a 700’ canyon. We offered three tours a day to it: the 8:00 tour, the 11:00, and the 2:00. Each tour lasted three hours.
“One morning, I was scheduled to start on the front desk and then do the 11:00 tour. The 11:00 tour was usually the least attended of the three because most vacationers are driving from one park to their next one during the heat of the day. That morning, no one showed up. I went back to the resource library to do research and Michael took over the front desk.
“I’d been reading a few minutes when Michael came back to tell me that a elementary school group just showed up for the 11:00 tour. ‘If you want, I can tell them that they missed the tour and they will have to wait for the 2:00.’ ‘No,’ I said. I would give the tour. That’s part of what led me to the park service; the opportunity to create connections between the park and people.
“I went out front and met the lead teacher of the group who was very stressed. Her plan had been to arrive 45 minutes before the tour so that she had time to feed her hungry students (who had hiked out of Havasu Canyon that morning). But she, like many, did not realize that the Navajo Reservation (where we were located) does not go on Daylight Savings Time so instead of being 45 minutes early, she was 15 minutes late and the kids were hungry and … I told her to relax. ‘Focus on your students. The kids are young so we will make up time by walking faster than the usual tour.’ As I waited, one of the accompanying fathers started telling me how special their school was because it taught kids to think. He said that too many times but I liked to think that my tours were exercises in thinking so this could be interesting.” (By this time in my telling this story, I’m sure my 8th graders were probably wondering what all this had to do with Bri.)
“The kids got fed. We went on the tour which went well because the kids did enjoy thinking; they responded well to the Socratic method I had evolved on my tours. On the hike back, one of the teachers told me that they had a teacher opening. They were looking for someone who taught the way I had on the tour. I told her I didn’t have a teaching credential. She said the school was part of the University of California system and so public school laws didn’t apply. She gave me the address in case I decided to apply.
“The school was in Los Angeles which was an instant turnoff for this wilderness ranger. But after seven years in the park service, I felt like I was starting to just mark time. The school being part of the university – that was intriguing. So I applied; I could always back out. They offered me the job and I ended up taking it.
“I drove to LA. There, I fell in love and married Alysia who was the stressed-out leader of that tour and who had been grateful for the way I supported her that day. After our first baby, we moved up here and several years later, we started Chrysalis.
“Thirty-five years ago I was given a choice: do I give the tour or let Michael tell them they were too late for the tour? Do I hike down and back up a 700’ canyon or do I keep reading here in this comfortable room? If I had chosen not to do the tour, none of you would be here because Chrysalis would not exist.” (The palpable seismic response from the class to this revelation formed the foundation for my strong memory of this spontaneous lesson.)
“What I want you to know, Bri, is that life is shaped by lots of tiny decisions made throughout each day. When you actually meet that good man you want to marry, it will probably be because of a collection of non-related choices you will make that will lead you to meet him in a way that kindles romance.
“Why did I choose to give the tour that day? Simply because it was the right thing to do: to serve both the park and its visitors. Don’t stress out over those big ‘have to’s,’ Bri. Focus on trying to choose the right thing in each of your little daily decisions instead.”
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