“Just sayin'”

In Cairns #22, I described a sweaty moment on a steep uphill climb when I vividly realized that the appearance of swear words in my inner monologue was feedback that my mindfulness was slipping. The insight into the connection was so strong that I took a vow then and there to not indulge in swearing and, instead, to see its appearance within me as one of many feedbacks guiding me along my way.

I’ve noticed a similar thing happening within our culture with the expression “just sayin.” I first became aware of the expression on Fox News. A speculative rumor or lie would be said, followed by “just sayin” as if that excuses the falseness in a way that allows what was just said to remain. Then I began hearing it in the conversations of some of those around me. Not insidiously but in a way that excuses and therefore invites mushy thinking. Then I heard myself saying the phrase. It can slip out so easily because it allows me to step away from any responsibility for integrity or truth. It robs me of the opportunity to experience how the words we choose can acquire power. Buddhism, I think, talks of the three mysteries we are given: body, mind, and voice. “Just sayin” leads me away from one of the most important journeys we can make with the mystery of our voice. And so there emerged a recent time when I decided that the emergence of that phrase from my mind/voice, like swearing, will be feedback to help steer me towards greater mindfulness in the words I speak.

Kids use the similar phrases (“just kidding” or “just messing around”) when they are called on bullying someone. As Alysia points out, “It allows us to not face our intentions. The victim has no recourse; the perpetrator escapes from culpability.”